Clarity can come later...

Hi ,

Good morning—And welcome to the fifth issue of The Fam. 

I was in my late 40s, pulling into a parking lot one night after a long meeting. I shut off the car, leaned back in the seat, and just sat there in the dark. I stared through the windshield at nothing in particular. My head was full and empty all at once, and the clear, uncomfortable thought hit me:

“I should have it figured out by now.”

But that thought haunted me, because on paper, I had it figured out. Business was strong, our family was growing, I had what most would call a “good life.” But underneath it all, something wasn’t sitting right. It wasn’t adding up. 

There was no major crisis. No loud meltdown. Just this quiet, persistent question: Is this it?

Have you ever looked around at your life, and thought, “I should have it figured out by now”?

Maybe you’re not entirely lost. Maybe things in life even seem pretty good. But something feels... unclear.

There’s a question we’re all faced with pretty early in life, one our teachers and mentors and hundreds of online influencers ask us: What is your purpose?

Hell, I don’t know about you, but I have laid awake many a nights with the weight of this seemingly simple question!

And here’s the hard part: you’re expected to know the answer with absolute clarity—and early. And it’s not hard to carry that pressure with you. When you’re missing that clarity, it’s easy to think you’ve missed something. That you’re behind.

But here’s something I’ve come to believe, deep in my bones:

Most of us have it backward. Clarity doesn’t come at the beginning. You don’t have to have it figured out before you take your first step—in fact, you shouldn’t. 

What’s something you’ve been afraid to do because you’re waiting for the “right” moment?

True clarity comes after. After the confusion. After the effort has already begun. After the fog starts to clear once you’ve taken some first few steps… or even many steps. 

If you haven’t had that big aha moment where everything feels clear and focused and right—know this: you are not behind. And you are not alone. It’s a universal experience that’s been shared by people throughout human history. 

Marcus Aurelius, one of the great Stoic philosophers—and a Roman emperor—wrote to himself every day. His journal—published as Meditations— wasn’t ever meant for others. It was his own attempt to make sense of what mattered, what was within his control, and what kind of man he wanted to be. It’s a record of his own journey into clarity. That’s not just reflection. That’s meaning in motion.

Clarity doesn’t arrive on command. It doesn’t come with a grand announcement. It shows up quietly, often when you’ve been walking for a while, trusting something inside you before you even had the words for it.

And that’s the part no one really talks about: clarity isn’t just found in thinking harder or pushing through your checklist. The kind of clarity that moves you—really moves you—comes from a balance of both stillness and action.

Stillness lets you hear your deeper self—the version of you that already knows, even if you can’t yet explain it. Action lets you test what’s real—so clarity doesn’t stay in your head, but becomes lived.

Some days, what you need is a little space—a walk without your phone, a quiet drive, a few minutes alone in the morning before the house wakes up. Not to solve everything. Just to hear yourself again and find those glimpses of truth and clarity that no amount of ‘just pushing through’ will ever bring.

Other days, it’s about moving. Making the call. Signing up. Saying the thing. Not because you’re sure. But because staying still no longer serves you.

Stillness clears the noise. Motion gives the signal shape. Clarity is born in the rhythm between the two.

You don’t have to figure out your entire life this week. But you can start tuning in. To the quiet tug that shows up in the silence when you give yourself a little space. To the small surge of peace when you take one honest step forward.

Clarity doesn’t demand a perfect plan. It just asks you to pay attention—and keep moving.

Several years ago, I sat down with two brothers—Curt and Cliff Hovis—who run a third-generation business in western Pennsylvania called Hovis Auto & Truck Supply.

These guys don’t talk much about clarity. But they sure do live it.

When I sat down with them, they shared how they’ve expanded over the years—building something strong and deeply rooted. And then Curt said something that really stuck with me:

“We don’t lease. We don’t rent. We don’t take out mortgages. When we open a new store, we buy it outright. It’s like when Cortés burned his ships—we’re not going back.”

That’s clarity.

That’s what it sounds like when someone knows who they are—and builds their future from that place.

And here’s the part that matters most: That kind of clarity didn’t come from a strategic offsite or a personal brand coach. They weren’t born with it. And they weren’t handed a road map. 

It came from forging conviction. From years of showing up and doing the right thing when no one was watching. From taking the time to discover what really matters… then making decisions that reflect it.

We often treat clarity like something we have to go out and find. But sometimes? It’s something we decide.

It’s not just a plan. It’s a posture. The decision to go all in—no exit ramp, no excuses. Committed to learning and growing along the way, balancing action and silence instead of settling for being stuck. 

👉 I want to hear your stories. Reply to this email and let’s chat—your story could be featured next week.

P.S. I LOVE this tool, and I think you will too.  It has a power behind it that has revealed so much to me each time I have used it.

Earlier this year, I was on my way to give a keynote speech in Naples, Florida, to the NPTA (National Paper Trade Association). There are many things I’ll hold close to heart from that experience, but there’s one that may surprise you: The conversation I had with the Uber driver taking me to O’Hare. 

He was an Eastern European immigrant, and before long, we found ourselves talking about the quiet struggles so many people carry. He told me about his family, and before long, we got to talking about pain and suffering to varying degrees. And not just the super big stuff—but also the daily weight of getting by.

The next morning I journaled, reflecting on this conversation. Here is what I wrote:

“Should we focus on being intentional in the now instead of chasing some grand sense of purpose? It seems that the need to feel a deeper calling—a more profound life, a world-changing purpose—is heavy for many people who feel as if they are just getting by. Let’s take that pressure off of us. 

The majority of us, as yesterday’s Uber Driver reminded me, are experiencing pain and suffering, to varying degrees. Let’s focus on ourselves first. Let’s get intentional! Let’s live a self-empowered life first, now. And worry about world-changing purpose later.”

Clarity doesn’t always come from grand visions or sweeping callings. Sometimes, it begins with something much simpler: the choice to get intentional, right where you are. Not for the world. For you. 

And when you start there—when you quiet the noise and move with honesty—clarity begins to rise. Quietly. Steadily. From within.

Here’s to living fully alive,

P.S. I’d love to know—What’s one moment in your life when clarity found you—not because you were chasing it, but because you finally slowed down? Share with me here, I read every single response.

We’re on a mission to empower one million people to live Fully Alive, and you’re one of them!